My friend pretends to be my daughter's mother?

I have a friend who likes to pretend she is my daughter's mother. For example, we were going to visit her and her husband one night shorty after my daughter's birthday. We had been moving that week and had not had a chance to have our daughter's bday party yet. My parents were coming up the next day (we live far from our families) and we were going to have a family party with them and a couple of friends, including my subject friend. Anyway, she planned on buying my daughter a birthday cake for that night before asking me, even though we hadn't done the party yet (daughter is only 4, she doesn't care when she gets her cake yet). She got all disappointed when, over one month before Christmas, she wanted to take my daughter to see Santa while she was babysitting (I simply explained to her we had plans to take her to see him shortly, and it's a mommy and daddy thing to be there when the kids see Santa the first time every year). Then, we were shopping the other day and my daughter asked me for a blue drink at DQ. I said we could get one when we were done. My friend s in and says, "I will get you one if you are good while we are shopping". Then she flat out says later to my daughter "you're my pretend kid, aren't you?" Also, we were talking about the super-cold weather we're getting this week and my friend felt she needed to make sure that I have everything to keep my daughter warm. I love my friend to death and don't want to upset her but I feel like she is totally trying to undermine my position as a parent. Don't get me wrong, I don't care if, for example, she tells my daughter not to play with something in her house, or play rough on her couch, or something else that effects her. I want my daughter to learn to respect other people's belongings and respect the fact that others have different rules in their homes and she needs to respect that, but I feel she's taking it too far. Advice?